I never changed, I just learned.

" Everyone has a secret they haven't shared, a past no one has heard about, and talents that people don't notice. Everyone has a weakness hidden inside, and everyone has a story left untold."

Sometimes, no matter how much you've tried to not fucked things up, eventually you will. When you tried so hard to fix things and trying to make it as perfect as possible, you'll end up losing every single thing you've tried for. And at some point in your life, you've decided to stop because some things aren't even worth it to hold on to even if you love the idea of living with it your whole life.

Bila orang kata,

Kita dah besar,sepatutnya kita makin matang. Tak semua manusia dalam masa silam kita, kita kena benci just because they broke your heart into tiny pieces that you took a hard time mending every piece of it. Ada orang kata, sudah sudahlah membenci. Kan lagi elok bila baik baik keadaan, tak huru hara. Hati, lagi rasa senang.

Memang,

That's what I used to feel. The happiness within me when I didn't hold any single grudge towards anyone who put me through a hard time before. I feel at ease. Sedikit rasa hati berat untuk pandang ke depan pun tidak. But as what I'm trying to say here is,

Tak semestinya benda yang berkocak dah kembali tenang, ia takkan berkocak balik. Even, terus hanyut pergi dunia mana. Excuse my metaphor yang tak masuk akal langsung. But who cares,right.

Ada masa kadang kadang, kita cuba matangkan diri dan perasaan kita. Untuk berbaik dengan segala manusia yang pernah sakitkan kita, ("Not to win anyone back in our lives"). It's just that, kadang kadang, aku rasa hidup yang masih sakit hati dengan benda yang lepas tu yang menyiksakan jiwa. Might as well aku mencuba untuk baikkan keadaan.

Mungkin, Allah jawab juga permintaan aku. Untuk at least cuba. And I got the chance.

The only thing was, I tried so hard, one argument after another to keep things at least 'good'.